GuyDater Dating Tips

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Body Language Can Make or Break Your First Date

     Lie to Me is a popular television series that explore the connection between body language and telling the truth. Your first date isn’t going to involve solving a crime (hopefully), but your body language can have a big impact on the impression you make. Did you know that your speech makes up only a small percentage of your communication with other people? One researcher at UCLA estimates that body language accounts for 55% of our interpersonal communication. Positive body language helps you create a comfortable atmosphere and increase the probability that the first date leads to a second date. If you’ve met your date through our site, or even another gay matchmaking site you’ve already done your homework. You’ve read the man’s profile and know a good deal about him already.

     By now, you’ve seen at least each others’ site photo and may have even spoken on the phone. Take a deep breath and relax. Keep things in perspective, and try not to get too worked up about the outcome of your first date. A relaxed state of mind helps create positive body language. When a man meets someone he’s attracted to, he’s just naturally going to preen. His eyes will light up, maybe suck in the gut just a little, and stand up straighter. You may throw back your shoulders unconsciously in response and lift your head just a bit higher. Eye contact is very important and by all means, don’t forget to smile!

     Many first dates start with something simple like dinner or a drink. Be aware of your posture; sit up straight and relax. Slouching creates a bad impression. Don’t cross your arms, legs, or ankles. It not only makes you look guarded, and you’ll start to feel and act that way! When was the last time you had a good laugh with your arms crossed over your chest? Open arms send a powerful positive signal. Upward body movements create good feelings. You’ve heard the expression “He lifts my spirits,” this is a direct result of positive body language. Don’t point at the man. We’ve all had the horrible moment when our finger turned into someone else’s – the gesture of a despised teacher or authoritative relative. He may not understand why he suddenly dislikes you, but he will know it. This is a subtle one, but important to remember! Sometimes men curl their hands into a fist simply because they are nervous. Your nails may cut into your palms but the message you’re sending is aggression. Relax your hands and your body will follow suit. That same UCLA study estimates that 38% of communication skills are in the tone of your voice, which also can have an effect on your body language. Subconsciously, your body language will mirror the tone of your voice. Don’t over think it, but the right tone combined with positive body language will help make your date a success!

Decoding his Profile: How to Read Between the Lines

     In these times, dating has become both easier and more complicated than ever before. Internet dating sites have made it possible for gay men all over the world to connect with one another on many different levels. It is easy to join a site such as ours, and get to know a variety of men on your own terms, at your own speed. When you view profiles, it gives you a sense of what each man is like, his general physical appearance, his likes and dislikes. But how honest are they being? How do you decode the profile and read between the lines? It can be very difficult for a man to create a profile. Sure, the software is easy to use but he can feel very vulnerable when he’s asked to list his attributes. The best advice to gay men new to online dating is to go slowly and take things with a grain of salt.

     The more profiles you view the easier it becomes to get a sense of the person behind the profile. Pay attention to the user name. A name like “readyfreddy” or “hottotrot” probably isn’t a good selection for a man looking for a long-term relationship. “Walksonthebeach” or “moonlightsonata” hint at a romantic nature. If you hate sports, it might be very difficult to make a love connection with “hockeymania.” Men often find that if there is a bit of mystery to their screen name, it will intrigue others and serve as call to action to get to know them better. A basic profile will give a general physical description and may include a photograph. Men tend to use the photograph that they feel portrays them in the best light. Don’t assume the photograph is recent ask when it was taken. Be cautious if the photograph doesn’t show his face or seems blurred. Showing only his body can be a red flag. He may not be totally out or simply be interested in a fast hook up. Be sure about what you are looking for and select accordingly. Revealing the size of your income is extremely stressful. People are very protective of this information, so don’t assume that this number is written in stone. After all, should be interested in the man, not his bank account (but a well-endowed bank account can be a bonus!)

     Look for a man who tells you something about himself and his interests rather than someone who is vague. Having a common interest like rock climbing or film noir festivals can make your first face-to-face meeting much easier. In general, men will reveal as much truth as they can within their comfort zone. Stretching the truth just leads to disappointment and strangles trust in its infancy. You have the right to expect honesty and shouldn’t settle for less. So take your time, try to read between the lines, and you’ll save both yourself and other members time and effort.

He Wants to Meet in Person, Now What?

     Dating online makes it easy for gay men to find others with interests common to their own. No matter how long you’ve exchanged emails, texted, or chatted on the phone, that first meeting can be filled with anxiety, apprehension and angst. But it also presents the chance for adventure, admiration and maybe, just maybe – amorousness! Picking a meeting place isn’t always easy. Dinner and a movie might seem cliché, but if he’s a movie buff, it could be the perfect choice. You will lose a couple of hours of face time in the theater, but if this makes for great conversation afterward, it could be worth it.
  • Meeting during the daytime can be a bit less stressful. A lunch date is great, there’s less pressure, and there’s a lot to be said for meeting someone in broad daylight. Your first meeting could be something as simple as taking your dogs on a walk. This is great as long as both your pals are well-behaved and play well with other pooches. On the other hand, if you’re nervous, your dog will sense it and may act protectively.

  • Warmer weather brings more opportunity for outdoor activities. If the two of you have the same taste in music, look for musical festivals in your area. A live band brings great energy to a date and you might be able to have even more fun selecting and bringing your own food and drink. Be true to yourself, though - if don’t really enjoy his type of music, you won’t have a good time, and he’s sure to pick up on your demeanor.
  • Physical activities can be fantastic for a first date. Many men find breaking a sweat together downright sexy. Bring a basketball and shoot some hoops at a local park or make a date to rollerblade. Keep the atmosphere light and non-competitive.
  • If you’re really feeling adventuresome try something completely different - a hot air balloon trip can make for an extremely memorable afternoon. Seeing the world together from a different perspective is fun and something you don’t forget. Just to be on the safe side, eat after, not before you go up, up, and away…
  • The most important thing to remember is to relax and have fun. A date is simply the opportunity to make a new friend and have a good time. Keep it low key and pressure free and chances are date number two will be right around the corner.
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